Love Me Deadly
by ptoridactyl
Summary: Getting out of rehab isn't easy, but getting what you want is even harder. Especially if it's a girl who knows how to box. Rated M for cursing and suggestive themes.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"Can I _please_ have $100?"

"Oh my God, no!"

"What? Why not?"

"Because, _Roxas_ , you just got out of rehab! I'm not-"

"You don't trust me."

Fuck. Of course she wouldn't trust me. She trusted me enough to give me space, to give me freedom, and I violated it. It's understandable, I mean, how many moms can say their 18 year old has gone to rehab? Not many. Oh, damn. Now she has that look on her face. The indignant one. The one that says she's ready to start a fight.

"I have every right not to!" she retaliated.

"Well I mean, _yeah_. I never said you didn't! But like, they haven't released and album in _8 years_. I've been waiting for this album since I was 10! Holy shit mom you don't understand-"

"Don't you ' _holy shit mom you don't understand_ ' me! I am not giving you money and that's that. If you want to buy those tickets so badly, why don't you get a job and earn the money yourself? Hm?" she crossed her arms and sat in her hip.

Well, she has a point. If I want to see The Last Shadow Puppets with Sora I need to get a fucking job, and fast. The tickets just went on sale, and if I want good seats I gotta come up with that money asap. I bet she doesn't think I'm gonna do it, actually get a job. Plus, I only need to stay there long enough to get my first paycheck, right? I love proving my parents wrong. I smirk and nod my head. "Alright I'll get a job"

* * *

 _Beep_

"That'll be $24.98" I say to the old lady with a bunch of cat food and Greek yogurt.

She smiles and hands me several coupons, along with a twenty dollar bill. I scan the coupons and find that they're expired. I give her the discount anyway because she's old and probably living on a budget off some social security check she gets once a month. I look up to find her smiling gratefully. Mrs. Doubtfire over here knew they were expired. I chuckled under my breath and handed her the bagged goods. "Have a nice day, ma'am."

"You too, sweetie!" she called over her shoulder as she walked away.

I check the time and sigh in relief. Fifteen more minutes until my shift is over. The next person loaded their shit on the conveyor belt and walked up to the register.

"Did you find everything ok?" I ask through a yawn. Goddamn, I am so tired. I make a mental note to buy a coffee on the way home.

"Roxas, you don't have to do that, it's me."

I see a face that's nearly identical to my own. My brother, Sora, decided to pay me a visit at work today. Good timing too, my shift is almost up. With hopes he knew my schedule today, I ask him, "Sor, what are you doing here?" as I scan his items.

"Kairi is coming over for a movie and I was sent to pick up snacks" he explained. Damn, I was hoping we could hang out or something.

Kairi is his girlfriend, but she wasn't always. I mean, they've been dating for as long as I can remember, she just wasn't always a girl. My twin Sora came out as gay in elementary school when he met his best friend, who was a boy at the time, Kairi. I'm pretty sure she knew she was trans then, but I'm not too sure. She didn't transition until middle school, which was hard for her because middle schoolers are such pricks. Honestly, I got into way too many fights to protect her. Sora was grateful because he's not really the violent type, but I didn't mind. Fighting gives me the same thrill as getting high. But back to the whole trans thing, Kairi and Sora had this big ol' talk about feelings and shit and basically he's cool about her being trans because he wasn't into dudes or chicks to begin with. He was just into Kairi, which is sappy if you ask me.

"Is she staying the night?" I ask with a smirk, teasing him.

"Oh my God! Roxas, be quiet." He harshly whispered the last part "She is, but what we do is none of your business!"

"Yeah, sure. Whatever. Just use protection ok? Not ready to be an Uncle." I said as a joke, knowing Kairi can't get pregnant. The look on his face told me that it wasn't funny. I immediately regretted it. I bagged his items swiped the credit card he just handed to me.

Fuck that Goddamn credit card mom and dad gave him. Fuck mom and dad. Fuck Sora. Sora is so responsible, putting shit into his savings account and buying his own Goddamn car. Sora is so perfect, being the perfect student, the perfect boyfriend. I became annoyed as I realized why I was even here in the first place, bagging his groceries at my shitholeofa job.

I'm a fuck up.

"Roxas, I don't know why you always act like-"

"Here's your card, sir. Have a nice day." I said in a flat voice.

Sora took his card and bag, looking hurt. Fuck, I can't believe I said that to him. I don't like being a dick, I really don't, I just can't help it. He's so happy. He has Kairi, someone to talk to at the end of his day. I want that. Fuck, I'm lonely. I'm so fucking lonely.

It's not like I've never dated. I've had a couple of girlfriends, I hook up with girls at parties all the time, and I'm always getting texts from thirsty girls. It never really means anything to me, it's just a way to pass the time and get an orgasm. But with Kairi, it's more than sex. It's friendship on an intimate level, and I want that. I'm tired of fucking around. I want something serious.

When my shift ends, I'm grateful. I'm too exhausted to drive home, so before I leave I pour myself a cup of the shitty coffee they make in the break room. It tastes watery, vile, and cold, like they reused the coffee grounds 4 times before making this pot and then let it sit for 6 hours. I chug it like it's medicine and make a face. Gross.

On my way to the parking lot I spot this girl. She's got an blonde hair and she's petite in stature. I try to get a better look, but I only get a glimpse of her before she gets into her car. I consider faking my car broke down so that I could knock on her window and ask for a jumpstart, but decide against it. I'm done with that bullshit.

I get in my car and drive home, where I find mom and dad asleep on the couch watching the news. I climb up the stairs and hear giggling when I pass Sora's room. Fuck them. I go into my room and take off my shirt so I can plop into bed. I put on my headphones and play my "sleepy playlist". As I doze off, my thoughts wander to that girl I saw. I wonder if she was cute, I didn't really get to see her all that well. Sure, I want something that is better for me, but sometimes old habits die hard.

 **A/N: I haven't written a story in a long time, so go easy on me.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I hear a light rap at the door. "Roxas, it's time to get up."

"Yeah, yeah." I groan into my pillow.

Fuck. I don't want to go to work. I don't want to get up. I don't want to do anything. This is so sad. My life is so sad. I'm an adult (technically) and my mom still has to wake me up. I roll over in bed and look at the clock. It reads: 2pm. I've successfully slept 14 hours. I bury my head into my pillow again. Another day, another dollar to go toward my concert fund. I can do this. I can do this, right?

I can't do this.

* * *

I find that the only people who come to the grocery store in the afternoon are old people, and stay at home moms. There's nothing wrong with either, it's just they always ask the dumbest questions; Things like: "do you know where the bathroom is?" or "where do you keep the milk?". Well, lady, the restroom hasn't moved since the last time you asked me. C'mon, get your head out of your ass.

After working here for a week, you get regulars. There's this one old dude who comes in frequently. He always gets a box of black tea and cookies, pays cash only. I dunno his name, but he seems like a chill dude.

I'm stocking the soup aisle. As I turn the cans so labels face out, I see a flourish of long blonde hair out of the corner of my eye. I remember the girl I'd seen the week prior, and hope it's her. I slightly turn my head and see her profile. Yes, it's the same girl. She's a lot shorter in person, nearly a head smaller than me. Boy, is she gorgeous. I gotta talk to her. I try to quickly set down the goods, but drop at least 6 cans of soup on the floor just as my manager walks by. The girl's plump lips curl into a smile.

Fuck. I'm fucked.

"Roxas, pick those up."

"Yessir."

I scramble to gather all of the cans in my arms. She giggles. My heart melts. I haphazardly put the rest of the cans on the shelf and turn to face the girl with a grin. Her smile immediately drops and she rolls her eyes at me, mouth set into a firm line.

I'm taken aback. What's this girl's deal? She laughs at me, and when I try to be friendly, she does this. The nerve. I swallow my pride and say:

"Hello, I'm Roxas. Are you finding everything ok today?" the standard grocery clerk greeting.

"Yes, just fine thanks." she answered, still looking at the soups in front of her. The response was meant to sound polite but came out a little hostile.

I walk a little closer to her. "Trying to find the right brand?"

She scoffs.

"You know, you can never go wrong with Campbell's."

She looks at me out of the corner of her eye. "I said I'm fine."

I twiddle with my fingers nervously. "Yes, well, like I said my name is Roxas. If you need anything just let me know."

She hums softly to let me know she heard me.

I stalk out of the aisle and into the next. The tea and cookie guy is standing there and looks at me expectantly. "Hey man, you're out of cookies."

"I'll, uh, check the back for you." I pant absentmindedly. I didn't even realize I was out of breath.

What the fuck is wrong with me? I've talked to plenty of girls before, but I've never had a girl not want me. Albeit, we did just meet, but like, she doesn't even want to talk to me. She's so curt and disinterested. It's so strange and alluring. Fuck, I gotta know her name.

I give the guy his cookies and go to the break room to look at the security cameras. I spot her heading to the registers. Luckily, there's only one open. I walk to the front and turn the fluorescent light on, indicating I'm open. She gets out of line and loads her items on the belt, squinting at me slightly. She knows somethings up, but I play it cool.

Scanning her items, and I habitually ask "Did you find everything ok?"

Her lips purse and she furrows her eyebrows in confusion. "Sure."

I swallow. "Ok, that'll be $17.80"

She takes out a credit card and hands it to me. The name Naminé Hikari is printed on it.

"Oh, Naminé. That's an interesting name." I say without thinking.

Her face twists in disgust. "You're saying it wrong. It's Nah-Mih-Nay not Nah-Min-ee."

I quickly swipe her card and hand it back to her. "Sorry," I mumble.

She takes it and puts it back in her wallet, shaking her head. "If you wanted to know my name so badly all you had to do was ask, Roxas."

She said my name. It was as if my name was a song sung correctly for the first time. It made everyone else who had ever tried to sing it seem tone deaf. I was hypnotized by the lull of her voice and the effort of her taking the time out of her day to learn my name.

When I snapped out of my trance, tea and cookie guy was there with a smirk on his face. "You got it bad, dude."

I looked at the exit and saw Naminé walking out the door. "Yeah, I know."

* * *

"Roxas, I'm sorry. I hate to say this, but that's like, really creepy."

I'm laying on the floor in Sora's room, telling my story to him and our friends. Demyx is sitting on Sora's roller chair while his on-again-off-again boyfriend Axel sits on his lap. Sora and Kairi are lounging on the bed with Xion, Demyx and Axel's little friend. I've never met Xion before, so it startled me to hear her say I was creepy. I sit up and look at her.

"Yeah um, who are you exactly? I don't remember welcoming a 12 year old into my home."

"I'm 14 you prick."

I raise my eyebrows and look at Demyx and Axel. "Where'd you find this one? A McDonald's play place?"

Axel tenses and points a long finger at me. "Hey, fuck off dude. She's 14 not 4."

"Plus, you were being kinda creepy." Demyx added.

"What the fuck? You guys, I came to you for advice, not to be roasted."

Sora laughs. "Dude, they aren't roasting you. Look at it from her perspective. She goes to the grocery store for some things and this random employee, who is a horny teenager, stalks you around the store until you leave. I mean, c'mon man. It's a little creepy." he looks at me like he was telling me Santa wasn't real.

"You aren't listening to me! It's not because I'm horny. I've turned over a new leaf. I want a relationship." I looked exasperatedly at everyone. Their eyes widen like I was crazy.

It surprises me when, out of everyone in the room, Kairi speaks up. "Roxas, if you really like this girl you gotta do things right. She seems like a tough girl, so you gotta be gentle. Persistence is good, but not if you're pushy."

"How the hell do I do that?" I ask in defeat.

"I dunno man get her drunk."

" _Axel_!"

"What? It worked with you, Demyx."

I cover my eyes with my hands and lay back down on the floor as the boys begin to bicker about who slept with who, when my name pops up. My ears perk and I eavesdrop.

"Well, you fucked Roxas!"

"Demyx, we were high!"

"Shut up, Ax. No you weren't. That was when you were on parole. You know damn well you weren't high."

"I can't believe we're having this argument."

"Meeting adjourned, everyone go home." I said as I got up. I do not want to be part of a lovers quarrel. I have my own shit to deal with.

 **A/N: For some reason I can't read my reviews. If you reviewed my last chapter, thank you. Also I forgot to put a disclaimer in my last chapter but hey, fun fact, I don't own kingdom hearts.**


	3. Chapter 3

My least favorite thing to do in the store would definitely be stocking the magazine racks. I hate celebrities. I hate all the bullshit gossip that people, for some reason beyond my knowledge, care about. I put the magazines in their dedicated spots, stopping briefly to look at the covers of each. I see a bottle blonde, a kid with a disability posing with some famous dude, and other things I don't care enough about to notice. I reach for the sports section and see a familiar curvy figure with bright blue eyes.

What the fuck? Is that who I think it is?

Is that… _Naminé_?

Her hair is different in this picture. She has two thick braids, tightly wound to her head, that go past her shoulders. She's wearing a sports bra and workout shorts, showing just enough skin to make me gasp. She looks so hot, holy hell. I furrow my eyebrows and lean forward slighting to try to get a better look. Maybe it's photoshop, but it _certainly_ isn't Maybelline. She's not wearing any makeup.

Okay, but like... Is that _actually_ her?

I study the picture, thinking I'm wrong, hoping I'm wrong. This can't be her. This can't be Naminé, not my Naminé. Her arms are crossed in this picture making her cleavage do something out of this world, while barely hiding the boxing gloves peeking under her arms. Her face was menacing. Mouth pouty and set in a firm line, brows furrowed in frustration.

Holy shit this is her. I could recognize that look anywhere.

The headline said: "Naminé Hikari, MMA Fighter, takes the world by surprise."

My eyebrows shoot up in astonishment. _MMA Fighter?_ This is wild. I mean, living in LA you see and meet all kinds of people. But holy shit I never expected this, especially from her.

I gotta talk to her about this… but how? Demyx suggested I "find her regular haunts" so that we could bump into each other. How do I do that? Ask around? "oh hey, you know that really hot MMA fighter who goes to this grocery store sometimes? yeah where can I find her?" It was ridiculous enough to make me laugh out loud.

I take my break 20 minutes earlier than I'm supposed to, because I need to think. I get in my car and decide to go off site today. I drive to this local coffee shop I frequent at. It's less than a 5 minute drive, so I don't really care about coming back right away. I mean realistically, if it were across town I don't really think I'd care even then. I'll only be working here for another week.

When I walk in I hear a "Hey Roxas" from the barista, Riku. I nod and smile in response. I order a black coffee out of habit (necessity) and sit down at an empty table. I'm fucking around on my phone, playing a mindless game for a few minutes. The bathroom door opens and Naminé walks out. I guess I don't have to "find her regular haunts" like Demyx suggested after all. All at once, i notice she's sweaty and wearing gym clothes.

Fuck, she's in a sports bra. At least now I know it's not photoshop, in addition to Maybelline.

As if sensing my stare, she turns around and meets my gaze. Her face twists in confusion, and then clears in recognition. The corners of her mouth turn up slightly, and a memory of her giggling echos in the back of my head. I crave to hear it again.

It is only when my name is called out by Riku that I am snapped out of my thoughts. I quickly get up to retrieve my cup, reaching around Naminé to grab my cup. She stares at me the whole time with a blank expression on her face, not making any attempt to get out of my way or even say hi. I feel so vulnerable, like my life story is a book written on my fucking forehead.

I quickly return to my table and gesture a hand at the empty seat in front of me, partially to be polite, mostly in hopes to make her laugh again. She sits. We stare at each other for a bit.

"So, were you training or something?" Her eyes flick up from the drink she was studying, and holds a steady gaze with me. I said 'training' instead of 'working out'. She knows I know.

After a pause she says, "Yes."  
"How's that going?"  
She sighs.  
"It's going."  
"Not well?"  
"No, not well"  
"Why's that?" I ask.

"It doesn't matter. I just needed a break for a little bit so I ran from the gym and I ended up here? For some reason?" Her eyes close and she slightly shakes her head, a ponytail moving with the gesture.

My eyebrows involuntarily raise as I bring my cup to my lips and take a sip. I instantly burn my tongue and regret it, closing my eyes tightly and wincing at the pain. When I open them, she's staring at me with a growing smirk on her face.

I roll my eyes.

"Are you gonna order anything? I haven't tried anything other than their coffee, but I hear they have good lattes and tea." I blow on the rim this time. Fool me twice, shame on me.

"I'm actually thirsty, so I think I'm just gonna grab a lemonade." She replied to me, but her eyes were on the menu behind the register. I casually cross my arms on the table, leaning in on them slightly, as I take advantage of her distraction to look at her. She has a few bruises on her arms and she looks frazzled, nothing like the brazen, flirtatious girl I'd encountered briefly before. She seems very unsure of herself, which would normally make me steer clear from a girl, but it makes her very human. I find that to be an attractive quality, but for it be be in someone who was above average in attractiveness? As if she didn't already have enough going for her.

"My brother's girlfriend likes getting the green tea lemonade from here. She says it's refreshing."

She nodded her head in approval, searching for the drink I named on the menu. "Yeah, I think I might get that. That sounds pretty good."

Satisfied with her decision, she turned back to face me. With only 2 feet of table separating us, I noticed spots of navy blue in her radiant eyes. It was something I failed to notice on the magazine cover, but felt lucky enough to experience in person. Her eyes darted to a random corner of the room, breaking the spell.

Oh god, she looks uncomfortable. That was so fucking weird.

I let my head hang and close my eyes, praying for some sort of natural disaster to quickly get me out of this painfully embarrassing situation. A small giggle escaped her lips and my shoulders immediately relaxed.

There it is. Suddenly it was all worth it.

"Do I have something on my face or something?" She asks with a warm smile.  
Without thinking I say, "Yeah, sheer beauty."  
Her eyes widen and so do mine.  
"Any chance we can pretend I didn't say that?"  
She exhales swiftly and the right corner of her mouth tugs upward.

"Not a chance."

"You're something else." I state in exasperation with a shake of my head.

I don't know what it is, but there's something about this girl that throws me off my game. She makes me feel nervous and shy, in ways I have never experienced before with any other girl. There's a sense of uncertainty that I'm not familiar with, and to be fucking honest I'm sick of it.

I take a sip of my coffee now that it's cooled a bit, and I realize that I'm still technically on the clock at work. I check the time on my phone and sigh louder than I intended to, causing Naminé to look at me sharply.

"Everything okay, Roxas?"

I freeze, eyes glued on my phone screen. It's as if heaven opened and the angels themselves were singing my name in harmony. If there is a god, he's really throwing me a bone. My eyes flick toward hers. "I gotta get back to work. I'm on break right now."

A look of disappointment graces her face, and my ego swells. "Oh. I guess I'll see you around then?"

I bite my lip in attempt to smother a grin, but fail miserably. She wants me to stay and keep chatting her up. I quickly weigh my options, and decide that if I am later than I already am now, they'll take the extra minutes I took on break out of my check. And I need that check. I pull the crumpled receipt I got earlier out of my pocket, along with a quarter. I scratch my number into it -a trick I'd learned over the years- and hand it to her.

"Here. Now you know my order _and_ my number."

She laughed a genuine laugh. It made my stomach do a fucking tap dance number. This girl will be the death of me. "Amazing. I'll be sure to remember it."

I slowly walk backwards, maintaining eye contact and arm slightly extended in anticipation to open the door behind me. "If all goes well over the phone, maybe I can buy you a green tea lemonade next time?"

Her face defaulted to factory settings, but there was a look in her eye pierced through me "Maybe."

* * *

" _Maybe?_ What the fuck does that even mean?"

"Dude, _I don't know!_ " I throw my arms up in frustration and fall back on my bed. These guys were fucking useless. Especially Axel. He just liked making snarky remarks and messing with me, but even he was thrown off. He couldn't even lighten up the mood.

" _Maybe_ she's trying to tease you?" Demyx asks to no one in particular.

" _Maybe_ she's completely uninterested." Seriously, who the fuck keeps inviting Xion?

" _Maybe_! Maybe she… um… I lost my train of thought." Sora resigned.

" _Maybe_ , just _maybe_ all of you are pissing me off and are on the verge of getting kicked out of my room. _Maybe_." I threaten with my hands covering my eyes, quickly growing tired of this fucking conversation.

"Did you get in trouble for coming late from your break?" Xion asked, surprising me.

I sit up and scratch the back of my head, "Well, yeah. But it was the first time so it was just a verbal warning. They said not to make a habit of it, but I don't plan on being there much longer so I'm not tripping."

Sora makes a face and shakes his head in disapproval. "Mom really wants you to keep that job. She says it'll be good for you to have stability and-"

"Yeah, well I'm sure mom is more than used to being disappointed in me." 

Everyone quietly looks at Sora, waiting for his response. He has nothing. 

"Well, what are you gonna do if she texts you?"

"Reply."

"No shit, but what's your _plan_?" Axel presses.

"Dude, I'm playing this tune by ear. There IS no _plan._ This is uncharted fucking territory."

"What are you doing, man?" Sora asks, nothing short of confusion on his face regarding my predicament.

" _My best._ I'm doing my best." I snap back at him. Anything would seem ridiculous in comparison to Sora. He was the romantic one. He swept Kairi off her mother fucking feet. So it surprised me when Kairi said:

"That's all anyone asks from you. I'm sure Naminé is scared just as much as you are. But don't you think she's also just as giddy? Everyone gets that feeling in their stomach when they're talking to someone for the first time. Don't think you're alone in that. Whenever she decides to text you, remember that it's just as scary and thrilling for her too, okay?"

"Why is she more helpful than all of you combined? Why do I even call these meetings? I should just knock on Sora's room and talk to you, Kairi." She smiled in embarrassment and pride.

My phone buzzed. A text from an unrecognizable number.  
 **So how soon can I anticipate you buying me a drink**?

"Guys. _guys.. GUYS!_ "

* * *

A/N: i apologize for the 2 year hiatus for this story. i had most of the chapter planned out when i started it, but for some reason never wrote any of them. there's definitely no excuse, but i'm back at it and i feel like my writing has improved drastically. let me know what you think.

also, i still don't own kingdom hearts.


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